Thursday, June 23, 2011
I'm a recovering addict. My drugs of choice were Percocets, Cocaine, Crack, and Alchohol. The reason I titled this post "Re-Born" is because once all the drugs were out of my system, it was like a whole new world opened up to me. I started paying attention to my surroundings again. When I was atively using I had tunnel vision. All I saw or heard was my dope dealers. Everybody and everything else was drowned out. It was like nothing else existed. I started feeling all this guilt and humiliation that I have not felt before. I hate to admite it but I've stolen from my wife and kids. I've lied to everybody I had any kind of contact with before I got sober. I guess I'm writing this because I'm scared to face my family and friends. But I've got to make amends with them before I can move forward and hope and pray to God that they forgive me. Normal people have never felt the need an addict has to use. We will go to any length to get a hit, bump, pill, or beer. If any normal person would like to fell that determination try holding your breath until you pass out.... yea now thats determination isn't it. This still don't make the things I've done right. I guess I'm simply asking any parents, kids, wives, or friends of an addict that is reading this please take into consideration how hard it is for us to ask for your forgiveness and the progress we've made in just getting clean and processing our feelings. We are ready to be the person you used to know before the drugs and since we are not using we do feel pain and humiliation. Hopefully you will find it in your hearts to forgive us and be supportive, because if there is one thing we as addicts need is support and love from our loved ones.