Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I Believe

You know behind every good man is a great woman. My wife, even after all the bullshit I've put her through because of my addiction still sees ME instead of THE ADDICT when she looks at me. She stands with me instead of behind me. She still sees the man I used to be before the drugs and believes in me and my goals. I've been out of work since I got out of rehab. I admit for the first couple of weeks I took it easy and for a couple of weeks after that I looked for jobs around the clock. But after countless dead ends I got depressed and kind of laid off the job search for a while. Keep in mind I've worked the same job since I was about 11 years old. It is a family business that's more than just a little dysfunctional with a Dictator as a father and boss witch I give about 40% credit for my addiction. That's why a couple of months before rehab I went and got certified in a Specific Trade were I could move on with my life and fell like I was actually in control of me and my family. But for two months since I got out of rehab the job search hasn't been to promising until yesterday. I mean it was getting to the point that I was going to have to work for my father again. But while I was waiting for a job interview with a temp agency I took a shot in the dark and stopped by a business and got a interview the following day doing what I'm certified to do. But I found out that I need another certification and I'm going to get hired by this company. My wife has supported me left and right and if it wasn't for her I would have to work for my father to get the money for this extra certification. Keep in mind my wife doesn't have a lot of money and the fact that she's making a investment in me after all the money I've taken from her really amazes me and makes me fell like I'm actually worth having around. But she strongly believes that my family business is the root of all evil just like me. I guess what I'm getting at is that when you have somebody that believes in you the way my wife believes in me it makes me believe more in myself. And if most of you addicts are like me, we start thinking all we can do is fuck up after this disease chews us up and spits us out.

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